Creating a compelling vision for 2024 and beyond

Should I stay in this relationship?  Sell the business?  Move to Italy?  Sell the Porsche?  Arhhhhhh! 

The 1st of January is a temporal date, meaning it has significance in terms of doing things differently and is why so many people create New Year’s resolutions and want a vision for a new life.

The problem for many men in their 40’s or 50’s, is that they feel stuck, trapped and caught in a web of responsibility.  They know they’re not happy BUT they struggle to work out what they really want and what their vision looks like, or they know what they want and get stuck with the execution of the decision. 

If this sounds familiar, I hope you’ll be comforted with the knowledge that a key reason for this is that your conscious and unconscious mind are not aligned to what you really want.  Your unconscious mind is programmed with beliefs about who you should be, how you should show up and what you should do. 

Many of these beliefs are programmed into you as a child by your parents, societal norms, TV, books and even your imagination.  At one time these beliefs may have been helpful, however as a 52-year-old man are probably holding you back or getting you stuck.

By becoming aware of your beliefs and what you hold to be true about yourself, you can start to identify how these beliefs may be stopping you from achieving your goals and vision.

Another critical factor is that your values (that is, what motivates and drives you) might be misaligned to what you truly want.  I use Motivational Maps with my clients to help them uncover what’s important to them. 

For example I recently had a client whose vision was to sell his business and move abroad.

The problem?  It had been his vision for the last five years, he felt stuck and frustrated at his inaction for something he knew he wanted.  When we looked at his Motivational Map it showed that his highest value or motivator was freedom (no surprise, given his vision), it also showed that he placed high value on security.  This was around his beliefs and conditioning growing up in a family where the mantra was ‘work hard and save because money doesn’t grow on trees’.  Consequently, he was worried that he would run out of money.  This tension between motivators caused paralysis and inaction to move towards what he thought he wanted.

This is just one example of where we might not be getting what we want because of an incongruence between our values.  If you’d like to learn more about your own motivational profile and what’s getting you stuck, contact me in confidence.

So let’s get serious about what you want in 2024 and beyond, it’s time to work out what an extraordinary life looks, sounds and feels like for you.

Let’s start with a couple of exercises to help you get clarity.

Exercise One

Take a sheet of paper write a list of everything you want for your life in the next 12 months, dream big and consider… who you want to be, how you want to live, what you want to achieve.  What will your life look, sound and feel like?

Now put a line through anything on the list that feels like

‘I should want this’.

‘My wife/parents [fill in the blank] want this for me’.

‘I used to want this’.

You will know you’re on the right track when it begins to feel exciting and energising, rather than serious and logical.  If you find this exercise challenging it may be that you have some inner conflict around what you truly want and it may be helpful to explore this with some deeper coaching.

Exercise Two

The Wheel of Life indicates areas of your life you may want to include in your vision or goal setting.

It’s a brilliant tool to work out which specific areas of your life are nourished and fulfilled and which may need some attention. 

Download a free PDF copy with instructions on how to complete it HERE

Once you’ve worked out what you want, it’s time to write your vision/goal.  Before you do so it’s important to introduce you to your Reticular Activating System (RAS).

Every second your senses are taking in billions of bits of data.  To ensure your head doesn’t explode you need a filtering system or ‘bouncer’ for what’s going to be let in.  This is the job of the RAS; it blocks out about 99% of what your senses are taking in from reaching your conscious mind – quite a feat and probably why it needs a standing ovation!

Have you noticed when you decide you want something, say a Black Range Rover SE, you start to see them everywhere… this is because you have told your RAS that you want one, so it starts finding them for you.

Consider the phenomenal power of this, you can train your RAS to find the things/opportunities you want.  Unfortunately most of us haven’t told our RAS what we want, so it’s running on the programming from childhood with all those beliefs and negative thought patterns that are getting in the way of what you want.

This is why you must work out what you really want and then tell your RAS, it’s amazing how you don’t have to consciously look for it, you just have to tell your RAS and leave it to get on with it!

As you write your vision/goal, consider the following questions to ensure it’s both supercharged and meaningful.

Is your vision/goal stated in the positive?

We want to get your unconscious mind on board and for this to happen it’s important to keep your outcome positive, because your unconscious mind can’t process negative.

•  Ask yourself – What do you specifically want?

Is the goal within your control?

It’s important that you ‘want’ your goal/vision and that you’re not trying to please someone else.  It’s also essential that you are responsible for the outcome of your goal/vision, without relying on anyone else for the outcome to occur – remember it’s your vision and you are not accountable for what other people do.

•  Ask yourself – Am I doing this for me or someone else?

• Am I solely responsible for the outcome?

How will you know when you’ve achieved it?

To help your RAS you must make your vision/goal as compelling as possible to your Unconscious Mind by giving it sensory qualities, that is; what will you be seeing, hearing and feeling.

•  Ask yourself – What evidence will there be? 

• What will I be hearing, seeing and feeling when I have it?

What resources will you need to create to get what you want?

What resources will you need, these might be internal (eg, to let go of limiting decisions or doubts) or external (eg, time, money etc)

•  Ask yourself – what internal resources do I need?

• What external resources

Is the goal/vision ecological?

This is where you check in with yourself, to make sure that your goal/vision does not conflict with your beliefs or values and works for you in all areas of your life.

•  Ask yourself – what’s the purpose of this goal/vision?

• Does it fit with who I am as a person and how I see myself?

All that’s left to say is find a quiet space, away from the family, your mobile and any other distractions, invite your unconscious mind to the party and get curious about the life you want as you start to create your vision/goal.

You’ll be amazed at what can happen when you have a compelling vision/goal that; you feel emotionally connected to, that aligns your conscious and unconscious mind and your RAS knows what to look for.

I’m rooting for you.